I don't mind if you tend to date fat girls, or really even if you get some specific pleasure from being with a fat woman -- but I don't need that to be the first thing you tell me about yourself. " It's announced as if it's supposed to reassure me that they aren't going to take one look at me naked and run, I think? Or maybe it's meant to suggest some kink; like to let me know that he wants to feed me cakes and watch me weigh myself? If you care more about my weight than I do, we're going to have a problem. "You're not the kind of lazy, stupid, disgusting, [insert sizeist insult here] slob who I expect fat people to be," is not a compliment.
Dating today is a tricky business — whether you're looking for love online or off. Regardless of who you are, the journey that is dating and relationships can make you feel like you're running around in circles.
Dating as a polyamorous woman brings with it a lifetime's worth of misconceptions and jealousies.
Add a few extra layers of fat to that experience, and things can get depressing real fast.
If I try to talk to you about fatphobia, about discrimination, about the challenges I face as a fat woman in the world, please don't try to comfort me by telling me people don't mean it, that maybe I'm misreading the situation, the the world isn't out to get me.
Whether or not fat hatred is malicious, it's still harmful.